Excerpt from Gertie Gets it Right (eventually) available in paperback and on Kindle.

Arriving at the Academy.

Gargoyles also lined the sides of the bridge, staring inwards menacingly at the ones crossing it. Gertie nearly jumped out of her skin when the largest gargoyle on the left, half way across, yelled “STOP!”

            Ma stopped. In fact, she stopped so fast that Gran bumped right into her and dropped Owl’s log. She managed to catch it before it bounced up and hit Fang’s mother who was following along closely behind. Ma was still staring at the gargoyle as if wondering if it really had spoken at all.

            Fang hurried past them all with a look of smug satisfaction on his face. His expression seemed to say, I know something that you don’t know.

            “Don’t tell me you don’t know about the Stone Guardian?” he asked.

            “Course we do,” replied Gran, with her bloodshot eye daring Fang to contradict her.

            “Oh,” he replied, just as smugly. “Go on then.”

            Gran looked like she had the urge to turn him into a bat, but held her temper. After all, his mother was a friend. Sort of. She got a cunning look on her face instead.

            “No, you go first,” she replied. “So we can see if you know about the stone garden.”

            “Guardian,” corrected Fang.

            Gertie saw Gran’s casting finger begin to quiver.

            “Go along then, Fang,” his proud mum urged. “The little imp. He’s so excited,” she said as she passed Ma and Gran.

            Gertie stared around herself, not believing all this was real.

            Fang proudly stopped in front of the gargoyle and loudly announced “Fang, reporting for my accepted place at the Academy.”

            The stone guardian was the only thing Gertie had not seen flinch from the spit that flew from Fang’s mouth every time he spoke.

            A moment passed, and then the deep rumbling voice boomed, “YOU MAY PASS.” It sounded like the beginning of a rockslide. Fang and his mother walked on proudly to approach the huge wooden doors bound with iron hinges that were now swinging open.

            “Hm,” muttered Gran, watching the pair vanishing into the dark mouth of the building. “Nowt clever about that. Gertie’s here,” she shouted at the gargoyle, as the doors swung shut with a dull echoing thud behind Fang’s mother.

            A moment or two passed, but there was no reply from the gargoyle.

            “Are you deaf?” called Gran, thoroughly wound up by Fang. “GERTIE’S HERE.”

            “I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME,” the gargoyle boomed. “GERTIE WHO?”

            “GERTIE GRIMTHORPE,” yelled Gran, leaning closer to the gargoyle so it could get the full impact of her bloodshot eye. It was now very bloodshot.

            “NOT ON MY LIST,” replied the guardian. “GO AWAY.”

            “There must be some mistake,” Ma said, seeming to be in fear of Gran doing something she might regret. Not that Gertie had ever known Gran to regret anything she had done. When Gran turned that bright shade of purple however, something usually died.

            “I DON’T MAKE MISTAKES,” replied the gargoyle.

            “WELL YOU HAVE DONE THIS TIME, BUSTER,” threatened Gran, waving Owl’s log about. “CHECK AGAIN.”

            “I DON’T NEED TO CHECK AGAIN,” said the stone guardian in a bored voice. “I ONLY HAVE ONE LIST…OH…I HAVE TWO LISTS THIS TIME DON’T I? THERE’S AN EXTRA ONE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE TO…”

            “Yes, we know,” interrupted Ma before the gargoyle could say the word “pay” She didn’t want Gertie to know she was any different to anyone else attending the Academy.

            “YOU’RE JUST THE FIRST TO ARRIVE WHO HAS TO…”

            “OKAY!” yelled Gran. “We get the picture. Just check your OTHER list.”

            A few more moments passed.

            “UHM. I DO HAVE A GERTIE HERE. I SUPPOSE YOU CAN GO IN,” replied the gargoyle, rather grudgingly.

            “Thank you,” replied Ma, before she set off after Gran who was already stomping up to the double doors. If they didn’t open, Ma knew she was ready to batter them open with Owl’s log. She hurried along holding Gertie’s hand, Owl clutched in her other arm. Owl looked like he was trying to keep sight of his log, but wasn’t succeeding very well because Gran kept swinging it this way and that.

            “Is everything alright, mummy?” asked Gertie.

            “Of course!” Ma replied. “Just a mix up with the silly list, that’s all.”

            Before Gran got to do any battering, the huge doors creaked open. She still gave the one nearest to her a knock with the log for good measure. She entered through the doors still muttering to herself. “You would think a place like the Academy would make sure their animation spells worked properly”

            Ma and Gertie followed quietly behind.